I watched Blood Diamond yesterday, it is a very violent movie, but it does reflect the truth of whats going on in Africa.

I dont usually like Di Caprio but he seemed just perfect for the role, lots of action in the movie and war scenes. The ending was a bit dissapointing though, i mean Solomon could have carried him easily to the plane, and a love story is born within few hours between Di Caprio and ‘Maddy’ (Jennifer Cally), i mean just keep the story real, no need for cliche stuff !

But it is a good movie overall, good action and nice scenario, i would watch it again mostly for the war scenes.

My good friend Jazz and I got into the car and took off to the desert.

We weren’t sure what to expect but we had our minds set. We were going to have a good time no matter what.

The drive was long but we spent it catching up with each other’s news never failing to shock one another.

We were there, in the desert, not sure if we’re heading the right way, until we saw the light calling us to head towards it’s direction.

We walked in, and looking around we felt disappointed but we insisted we will have a good time, so we slapped a smile on our faces and danced the night away.

Friends kept coming and going and fake smiles were plastered throughout the night.

A few hours and blisters later we left.

The drive back was a drive down memory lane.  Listening to music we danced on in our teens. Groove Theory, Zhane, TLC, Janet, Aaliyah, and more, much more.

My smile became an authentic smile.

… and then, when I was almost home, and thinking my night was over, I was attacked… by the hiccups!!

I took a day off today… well at least physically lol.  My phone kept ringing all day in regards to work but I wasn’t physically there.

I spent some time with my mom and took her to the airport and hung around with her until it was time for her to leave. Once she left I had to run some quick errands including pass by her friends house to drop off something.  I ended up having coffee at her friends for 2 hours! It was sweet.  I was supposed to meet up with friends at Maki in Marina Waves for lunch at 3 since it was one of my friend’s birthday, and I ended up getting there at 4:30! Bassita… I had a good lunch and saw some friends who I hadn’t been able to see or hang out with in a while.

At 5:30 I had to head to church since we’re setting up for the annual Easter exhibition that would take place all day tomorrow at the church.  While there, someone mentioned that they are looking for a volunteer to teach English during Church school on Fridays.  I thought about it, and am considering doing it.  I just want to be sure before making such a commitment.

Right now I am home, I need to do some work before I shower and go out to party…. speaking of which, I haven’t been to a party in Kuwait since before Ramadan, so you can see how I am welcoming the idea of a party tonight.

Basically, why I am writing this post is that I have lost myself sometime during few months.  I have given up a lot of hobbies and activities during the past 2 years.  I want to get back to them and I also want to do some worthwhile things.  I feel like I have been leading a useless and meaningless life.  It’s time I give it an aim.

This one little day, during which compared to most people, I did not do much, meant so much to me.

I have been missing myself recently.  I have been missing how I used to kidnap people, how I used to dance, how I used to laugh, how I had ambitions for my life.

I want to get back to the gym, I want to get a nice tanned skin color, I want to get fit.

I want to paint, I want to cross stitch, I want to draw, I want to design.

I want to be loud and laugh.

I want to be free as a butterfly.

I want to be me.

I’ve been wanting to write this post for some time now but it’s always been difficult to start it since in my mind I know my mom will be reading it sooner or later.

You see, this post is about my mother.  It is all about the love and respect  I have for this lady and it feels weird telling her so straight to her face.

Have you ever yearned to just stay home?To simply be with your parents?

When I was living in Lebanon, I used to miss my mother on so many occasions.  There were so many days when I wished my mom was there with me to support me.  I wanted her next to me when I was happy, I wanted her next to me when I was depressed, I wanted her to be at home when I got home, and I wanted to go out with her.

Marcel Khalife has a beautiful song called Ommi which I adore listening to, and the first time I heard it I welled up.

Don’t get this the wrong way, I made a lot of friends since I am considered a social person but my mother is a different person altogether.

My mother and I don’t agree on everything (like most mothers and daughters) but she is the type of mother who advices and then supports whatever decision I would have taken.  She is the type of person who noticed she has to adjust her mentality (to a certain limit of course) to the same mentality that my generation holds.

I can go on and on about my mother but in short, my mother has always been my friend, and I love her.

She is travelling to Beirut tomorrow and I will miss her while she is on her trip.

Note: I haven’t been posting much since I haven’t been myself recently.  Apologies for that.